We’ve all been through it, those unpleasant arguments that leave the other questioning whether or not they’re in the right relationship. Whether it’s petty fights about not washing the dishes when the other person said so or lying by omission to save the start of a serious argument, there are many reasons why couples get into verbal boxing matches with one another.
We may think keeping something under wraps in a conversation or simply choosing to withhold information from our significant other is the best route to go, but simply put, lying by omission is the biggest way to get yourself into even deeper arguments. Here’s why.
Omission is lying because it distorts the truth
When something bothers us, discussing the problem with our partner is crucial because it helps to build a more communicative and healthy relationship. However, when we choose to omit crucial information as to why something is bothering us, this can create a distorted representation of the truth, which leads others to form incorrect conclusions or make ill-informed decisions based on incomplete knowledge.
All in all, omission can be just as, if not more than, damaging as lying, as it manipulates a person’s perception of what’s real and what’s not. By undermining trust in interpersonal relationships, lying by omission is a recipe for disaster.
When a relationship is built around lies, a false sense of reality is created that can lead to further problems down the line, resulting in terrible arguments or even worse, a breakup. By building relationships that are truthful, this can help to deepen if not strengthen a bond all while creating a safe space for both partners to feel like their needs are being valued.
Below, we’ve compiled a list of why omission is considered lying and ways to avoid it moving forward.
Withholding information to make the other person happy
It’s easy for us to fall into the trap of people pleasing while in relationships, as we want to make the other person happy. However, when we people please, we’re not actually being ourselves and are too focused on what the other person will think of us. When lying by omission this is the fastest way to fall into the trap of people pleasing and can therefore create tension and resentment further down the line.
Concealing information about health or important family issues
Even if omitting information from a conversation isn’t coming from an ill-intentioned place, it can always catch up to you in the end. Since the root of the conflict isn’t being fully addressed, problems will always arise resulting in resenting the other person. When deciding to conceal information about health or family related issues, this can be considered lying as it impacts relationship dynamics and the trust between two people.
Withholding information about infidelity or past partners
Withholding information about infidelity or personal experiences with past partners that may concern your significant other is a form of lying and is not a good way to build a healthy relationship. At this point, the relationship will not be built upon mutual interest and respect for one another.
Not being truthful about substance abuse or addiction
Not being truthful about substance abuse or addiction is tricky because we do not want our partners to think of us in a certain way. However, when we choose to withhold pertinent information regarding these matters, this can cause significant riffs in a relationship that can lead to serious trust issues down the line.
The bottom line
In context, lying by omission undermines the principles of integrity and accountability as it involves evading proper communication and responsibility to provide pertinent information. While lying by omission may not always be ill-intentioned, it sets the precedent for a natural disaster that you’ll eventually have to deal with later.